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最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 05:07
最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 05:07
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C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I\'m not sure about the former.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
Raymond\'s Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
The company doesn\'t tell me what to say, and I don\'t tell themwhere to stick it.
I am not young enough to know everything.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: \'Can I help, sir?\' \'No thanks,\' says the blind bloke. \'Just looking.\'
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
Hofstadter\'s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter\'s Law.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, \'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don\'t believe?
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they\'re yours.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don\'t have it.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn\'t have an air force.
I don\'t even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they\'re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
Heav\'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn\'d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn\'d.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
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A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, \'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don\'t believe?
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I don\'t approve of political jokes... I\'ve seen too many of them get elected.
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There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
I wouldn\'t mind dying - it\'s the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
Why don\'t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
It\'s clearly a budget. It\'s got a lot of numbers in it.
It\'s not that I\'m afraid to die, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.
It\'s strange, isn\'t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go \'aaaaagghhhh\' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
I have not failed. I\'ve just found 10,000 ways that won\'t work.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
Always go to other people\'s funerals, otherwise they won\'t come to yours.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I\'ve only ever had one.
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There\'s also a negative side
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
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Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
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Raymond\'s Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don\'t know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that\'s my position.
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The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
I wouldn\'t mind dying - it\'s the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
Machine. Unexpectedly, I\'d invented a time
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
\'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible\', she said, \'but that alone doesn\'t make it true.\'
I have four children which is not bad considering I\'m not a Catholic.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
I\'m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
Machine. Unexpectedly, I\'d invented a time
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
We don\'t make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, \'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don\'t believe?
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I\'ll waste no time reading it.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can\'t it get us out?
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
My last cow just died, so I won\'t need your bull anymore.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
It\'s the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
Am I lightheaded because I\'m not dead or because I\'m still alive?
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
It\'s strange, isn\'t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go \'aaaaagghhhh\' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
I Can\'t Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don\'t Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
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Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
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Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said \'You\'ve been promoted\'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said \'You\'ve been promoted again\'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said \'You\'re managing director.\' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said \'What happened to you?\' And I Said \'I careered off the road.\'
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
If you can\'t get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you\'d best teach it to dance.
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Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
If women didn\'t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog\'s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is \'to be prepared\'.
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
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Lohr\'s Law: The future is merely the past with a twist ? and better tools.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can\'t it get us out?
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can\'t it get us out?
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Whether you think that you can, or that you can\'t, you are usually right.
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
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We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
I\'m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn\'t over until everyone gets their cookies.
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn\'t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
Hofstadter\'s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter\'s Law.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it\'s good it\'s wonderful, and when it\'s bad it\'s still pretty good.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
I don\'t pray because I don\'t want to bore God.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
One doesn\'t have a sense of humor. It has you.
Computer dating is fine, if you\'re a computer.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air ? however slight ? lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it\'s more likely to be female.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
We didn\'t lose the game; we just ran out of time.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
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No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
If it weren\'t for electricity we\'d all be watching television by candlelight.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
My last cow just died, so I won\'t need your bull anymore.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other\'s children.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I\'ll waste no time reading it.
Everybody\'s worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there\'s a really easy way: stop participating in it.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
I don\'t even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
I think \'Hail to the Chief\' has a nice ring to it.
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
You\'ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT\'S relativity.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
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Throughout American history, the government has said we\'re in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It\'s a hoax.
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In the begining there was nothing and God said \'Let there be light\', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
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A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that\'s how dogs spend their lives.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don\'t talk about other people.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you\'ve got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn\'t your biggest problem.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
I have four children which is not bad considering I\'m not a Catholic.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn\'t take it out of my garden.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you\'ll be afraid to cough.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they\'re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That\'s where we come in; we\'re computer professionals. We cause accidents.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
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Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you\'re pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don\'t talk about other people.
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The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
It\'s not that I\'m afraid to die, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.
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If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Everybody\'s worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there\'s a really easy way: stop participating in it.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
I\'ve had a wonderful time, but this wasn\'t it.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
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To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That\'s where we come in; we\'re computer professionals. We cause accidents.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn\'t mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I\'ll waste no time reading it.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, \'Don\'t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?\' I said \'I didn\'t know there were any witnesses. Now I\'ll have to kill you too\'.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
Minsky\'s Second Law: Don\'t just do something. Stand there.
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can\'t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Build a man a fire, and he\'ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he\'ll be warm for the rest of his life.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn\'t.
If it wasn\'t for C, we\'d be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/15/(Sun) 23:38
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